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Let's
have a bit of hush - with Geoffrey Rush
Enjoy a nice bit of peace and quiet with nice quiet actor
Mr Rush |
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Sting
on a trike
Old-lady-faced man Sting does most of his thinking in
the garden. Quite right too! |
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Hird
on: Hird Wonderful actress
(and grandmother of eight!) Thora Hird takes us through
a typical day |
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Obituary
Watch That lovely Alan
Titchmarsh off the gardens keeps you up to date with who
else has gone lately |
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Verbose
weather Only 31
days of weather in five thousand words. This month's star
guest: that nice Michael Aspel |
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| Edna99: |
Salad cream for afters. |
| Myrtlegirl: |
It was his foot |
| Edna99: |
Or was it cress? I think it
was salad cream for afters. |
| Myrtlegirl:
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"Bingo feet" they
call it. He can't walk straight after bingo.
Fell onto his battenburg. Ruined. |
| Edna99: |
He lived for that hat you know
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| Doris69: |
Coo-ee! |
| Myrtlegirl: |
Hello Doris, how's your
Derek? |
| Doris69: |
Oh, same old. What happened
to Woolworths? Closed down mine has. |
| Barbara: |
No, he was the brother what
died. You mean Philip, who was married to
Susan, nice lady shame about the kids though,
ooh my those poor deformed mites. |
| Edna99: |
What does she want? |
| Mrs.Alfred: |
Hello girls! |
| Myrtlegirl:
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Cooee Elsie! |
| Edna99: |
My grandson Sam just won the
swimming on sports day, but there was a bit
of trouble in the changing rooms... |
| Mrs.Alfred: |
Corned beef - 2 for 1 at Asda,
I bought 12 tins and I hate the stuff. |
| Edna99: |
Why did you buy it then? |
| Myrtlegirl: |
That Richard and Judy man said
"vagina" on Richard and Judy today.
Vagina he said. Or was it cunt? |
| Edna99: |
He said "vagina"
because they were talking about Sandi Toksvig. |
| Mrs Alfred:
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ooh. |
| Myrtlegirl:
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Bingo foot Harry they called
him! Couldn't walk straight after battenburg.
Fell over during bingo. |
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1)
Write your name on the inside of your front
door. When a visitor rings your bell you can
double check who are you before you greet
them.
2) Always carry a dictaphone
around with you so that you can listen back
to what you said 2 minutes earlier.
3) If you need to pop out
for biscuits, or a copy of the Daily Mail,
attach the end of a piece of string to your
front door.
4) Always carry a dictaphone
around with you so that you can listen back
to what you said 2 minutes earlier.
5) Write a biscuit on the
visitor of your door, giving the Daily Mail
a piece of string when conversing...
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