I first cooked this dish in 1986 whilst making the macabre masterpiece Gothic. I made it on the last night of filming for the director (and my friend) Ken Russell.

You’ll need :
Some potatoes
A Cadburys Flake

1. Cook the potatoes in hot water in a big, black iron pot.

2 Think scary.

3. Scatter the spuds on to an old pewter platter and cover with a lid to keep hot.

4. Next, softly crumble the Flake in to spooky strips. Use these dark, cool splinters of chocolate to mould in to the forms of eight or more spiders.

5. Lift the lid off the platter and (while the potatoes are still hot - this is very important) place the spiders on top of the spuds in creepy positions.

6. Think sinister.

To serve – garnish with candy floss to create an unsettling "web like" effect and present the platter by candle light. Serves one (in this case, Ken Russell).

Next time probably – "Naked Lunches", my guide to nude dining if you will.