Jamie's World of horses.

Hello there! It's me J.T. bringing you a special exclusive non-cat report. Yeah? That's right - I'm turning my showbiz gaze across the farmyard and up a little bit. To horses.

This was the first time I seen a horse. I thought it was really funny!

A bit like cats but less furry, bigger and also a whole lot less small, horses is where it's it at at the moment - and nowhere more so than in Idiotica Towers - which accounts for my temporary feline-to-equine shift. More cats next time though, I purr-omise!

First off if, like me, you'd never heard of one before - what the devil actually is a horse? Like I said, they're big and not as furry as cats, but is it quite that simple? No, it's not that simple. Horses have much bigger heads than cats and more teeth too. What else? Well. Horses differ from cats in many other ways:

1) Horses are unique in the animal world in that they wear clothes on themselves ie. shoes (to make a sound like a coconut) and hats (because they like them). Cats never wear shoes or hats, except at Christmas.

This is a model I made of what horses actually look like nude.

2) Horses famously sport the biggest cocks in the world. The average horse cock is exactly the same size as a fat man's arm clutching a grapefruit. Cats however have much more modestly sized appendages - about the size of a crayon.

3) Cats are well known for their wry, ironic sense of humour, whereas horses are more fond of practical jokes and physical-comedy ie. Dobbin in Rentaghost.

4) Horses have long faces because they are always sad but cats don't because they're not.

However trendy they may be at the moment though, I can't see horses actually replacing cats. It's just not gonna happen.