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Wogan dead. Broadcaster
Terence Wogan was found dead yesterday in his
house in Streatham, South London. Police were
called to the scene by a worried neighbour who
had seen Mr Wogan go into his house acting in
an odd manner.
The anonymous neighbour who
wishes to keep his name under my hat told me in
a private interview this morning that Mr Wogan's
manner was odd when he saw him go into his house.
The neighbour was understandably
concerned as Mr Wogan had never acted like this
before.
"I panicked and phoned
my sister, she always seems to know what to do,
but she was out so I leaves a message on her answering
machine. I heard nothing for two hours so I phones
the police." Within fifteen minutes a police
car had arrived.
DC Irons, the first policeman
on the scene, was heard shouting "TERRY?
ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" but to no avail. He
proceeded to break down the front door. On entering
the house DC Irons reported that everything in
there was either black, white or grey.
His written report states: "Mr
Wogan's house contained nothing that had any colour
to it at all. I considered this peculiar. I walked
into the kitchen and saw Mr Wogan slumped forward
onto his oak table in a pool of dark blood. I
immediately became suspicious. I stepped closer
and could clearly see that he had shot himself
in the face with a crossbow." Exactly
the same way famous spy James Bond is thought
to have killed himself back in April.
Terry Wogan's death is only
the latest in a long line of terror which began
with the bizarre death of Rod and Emu Hull in
March. Since then, the showbiz world has reeled
from shock after shock as its brightest stars
have been snuffed out one by one. Ernie Wise,
Jan Dildo, Sade, Oliver Reed, Terry Nutkins, Nick
Cotton and Helen Daniels have all died or been
killed in the space of four months.
This shows an alarming rise
in entertainers' deaths when compared to the same
period five years ago, when there were only three:
Kurt Cobain, John Candy and River Phoenix.
A free, 24-hour national helpline
has been set up to provide counseling for taxi
drivers, old people and/or the mental, all of
whom are the most hard hit. As extra precautions
Lindsay Duncan has been given a guard dog and
Michael Barrymore has been hidden in a room under
a library. |
