Coo, get her! A dandy London pigeon, being gay yesterday.   Exclusive report: Cat amongst the pigeons expert Chiltern Scarp investigates strange goings-ons in London's oh so Soho.

Gay pigeon shooting.

Pigeons under a study in London's swanky Soho have been being gay, claim birdsex white coaters in sexy white coats today.

Erstwhile Goodie William "strange" Oddie has been leading the ornithological research team in Soho's green belt for the last two years and has come up with some astounding results. The pigeons' proximity to homosexual humans in cosmopolitan London has led to a "copycat" effect across the local pigeon population. Well known for their inimicable mimicry proficiency in the animal kingdom, the grey birds pick up upon the close same-sexiness between the Soho gay men and ladies, leading to a steady decrease in the number of relationships between boy and girl pigeons.

Mr Oddie first became interested in all this stuff whilst engaged in picnic eating in Soho Square.

"I suddenly noticed the lack of baby pigeons ; there wasn't one to be seen. Where were they? Shit!" said Oddie, oddly, at the time.

Oddies' studies now conclude that yes indeed, the pigeons have been acting gay (e.g. male on male/female on female) and as a result no baby pigeons are being produced. This has created a "gay knock-on" effect across London's pigeon culture and may signpost the end of the pigeon era.

Pressure groups have been putting pressure on the local council to build a racing track or football pitch so that more straight people will visit Soho, in the hope that the copycat effect will be reversed, and the pigeons will go all normal again.

Mr Oddie is not convinced this will happen. "The pigeon is a very head-strong creature. If it wants to be gay then it will be gay. They really do just do what they want, with no influence from anyone, or anything, gay or straight."

STOP PRESS......
Some of the pigeons have been shot at, a little bit like clay pigeons.

Local man says:
"Please don't clean my birds"

The culling of gay pigeons if it catches on will hit hard on one Reg Griffin, who feeds the birds daily. Says Reg, "I feed these birds daily. I buy breads from Kwik Save, 17 slices. That's two a day for me, leaving three left over - and those are for the birds. I don't know what I'd do without my pigeons and bread. Please don't clean my birds."