Broadband Britian off to a bad start-up.

Upmarket Internet start-ups, started up by self-starting Internet upstarts, have taken an interesting downturn according to boring Internet trend magazine, Up Loads.

Instead it seems that new Internet down-and-outs are on the up-and-up on what some have already renamed ”the information Tennants Super highway” – with a new plague of ‘stop-downs’ threatening to take over the whole worldwide web, all over the whole goddamn world. Built on the never-never, these non-starter dotcoms are being half-started up by dot bums who are pulling out all the stops to start turning the Internet into a web of deceit, with bubbles bursting all over the place and electric soap splashing into startled web users’ eyes.

“The advent of Broadband Britain has let all the fucking wide boys in,” explained Up Loads editor Ben Stoppard. “All this A.D.S.L. and I.S.D.N. wotsits could spell T.R.O.U.B.L.E. for C.A.P.I.T.A.L investments, with the average waist bandwidth of your online businessman being twice what it was a year ago.”

Fox out.