|
Le mot juste about
to run out. Eminent
French language experts in France have warned
of an imminent French language crisis facing the
very future of French tongues and all the French
words that live on the tips of them, i.e. the
French language known collectively among us non-French
persons as “The French”.
Historically very limited word-wise,
The French is now said to be on the brink of running
out of lexicons completely. In a very urgent
and extremely repetitive begging letter to NATO,
France has asked other European languages to sub
them a few hundred extra loan-words quick-smart
(or “le quick-smart”) in a bid to save
their lardons.
The French letter (or “condom”)
goes on to state that their language (“notre
langue”) is now so short of words that some
of France’s greatest thinkers like Peter
Ustinov are being forced to hold their tongues
(or “leurs langues”, as the letter said)
or face le disastre.
“Le situation ‘ere
eez terrible,” said Pierre-Marie Marie, at
the Mairie in Paris. “Eef anyone invents
something or thinks up ze new concept, ze whole
langue, she will go bang!”
Although it's all come as a
surprise for the French, we at Idiotica say the
signs were always there. Whereas the Eskimos (les
Eskimeaux) have over 200 words for snow, the French
have never had one at all, and similarly top French
TV show ‘Allo ‘Allo had to be
done mostly in English in order to be funny, and
that was ages ago.
Boîte des
factes:
(nightclub of facts)
Some everyday examples of The
French's limitations include:
- le pétit déjeuner
(small dinner)
- le pomme de terre (apple
on the floor)
- le grand prix (big price)
- les pommes frites (German
potatoes)
- mangetout (all mangey)
- l'arc de triomphe (semen)
|
