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Don't look a gift horse in
the gums. Animal lovers
everywhere have gone up in their arms in protest
and down in my estimation after hearing about
the horrible return to using horses in the making
of glues.
Strictly against well fair EU
welfare regulations, certain small, non-rich European
countries are ignoring some fairly big rules about
animal niceness in a bid to make cheaper adhesives
for sticking stuffs together.
The use of the equine species
in the manufacture of all things Pritt and stick
was and has been banned for loads of years now,
but escalating amounts of work with paper in offices
has seen an increase in the number of people wanting
to use glues to stick them together. Cheap-shit
factories in cheap, shit countries say they see
no alternative than to utilise the horse
to make it, be it Gloy, Copydex or You Who.
This is despite the fact
that for many years now horses have been one of
man’s third-legged four best friends, after
dogs and ducks, and are often used by him for
riding, racing and rugby.
In olden times however old and
tired horses were sent off to special yards for
knackered gee-gees which helped in the making
of glues. But the laws, legislation and all that
legal stuff put a stop to this and most were instead
sent to France and turned into “cheval”,
a delicate French dish that tastes like chicken,
only bigger.
But now it seems horses all
over Europe are being used to make glues all over
again. Said Hungarian factory owner Peter Goulash:
“Sure we use horses to make glue, they’re
cheap as chips. Massive cocks too. Only trouble
is their stupid hooves, you know, they can’t
screw the lids on properly.”
STOP PRESS......
When not making
glues, some of the horses have also been making
bolts for stable doors. |
