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The future's so bright, I've
got to wear AIDS. The
latest trend in the crazy world of fashions is
going to have tongues turning and heads wagging
in opposite directions it seems this year, yes
it do. We've already had the anorexic waif, and
"heroin chic", so what’s to be
the latest look this season, then eh? Well I can
tell you. It's AIDS.
The combination of a sick, emaciated
figure and special make-up designed to give a
look of fatal malaise sees AIDS-couture
emerging as the main big new style to hit fashion
in its pretty little face this season, bloodying
its nose and blackening its big gay eye.
Top eastend AIDS man Mark Fowler
started the ball rolling on TV last autumn, when
he became Walford’s first male model, strutting
his stuff down a local catwalk on BBC's "Benders"
programme.
Balloon-faced Hollywood home-wrecker
Liz Taylor is also said to be "on top of
her moon" after an article in top
fashion sham-pamphlet My Face confirmed
that her morbid interest in AIDS victims has now
become a world wide recognised style statement.
But the spotlight is well and
truly on Alexander McQueen at the moment with
the countdown to London Fashion Week in 2002.
Short-arsed baldy designer McQueen is already
hiring teenage models for the autumnal show.
The models are being sent to
central Africa and told to "sleep around
with the natives as much as you realistically
can" in the hope that they will catch the
en-vogue virus.
The bony frames of the disease
riddled models will then crawl back to London
to show off McQueen’s crazy clothing designs.
Entertainment will be provided
by the sainted Bob Geldof and BandAid, who worked
with African musicians suffering from AIDS in
the 80s. Holly Johnson will be hosting the extravaganza,
culminating in a video duet with Freddie Mercury
of "Another One Bites the Dust".
Proceeds
from the event are being donated to the late dead
Kenny Everett due to a typing error.
H.I.V. YOU KNOW?
AIDS stands
for ‘Actually I’m Diseased, Sorry’
- the phrase that many HIV-ers are legally obliged
to say to prospective sexual partners.
AIDS was invented
in the 80s by gay-bestiality enthusiasts who would
fuck primates senseless whilst high on poppers
in New York clubs.
AIDS caught
on quickly and by the year 2000 there is an estimated
2 billion people who are "with it" in
over 30 countries. |
