WHO IS ON THE BREAKFAST PLATE
AND WHAT FLAVOUR IS IT?
CHIPS?!?!
“I’ve got
a chip on my shoulder with your name
on it.” So sang The Pointer
Sisters back in the 80s.
No-one knew what they
were on about then and even fewer
people know where they are now. If
there is one place where chips don’t
live it is shoulders and they certainly
don’t need name tags, but does
the great British chip have a place
on the full English breakfast plate?*
The debate continues
and raging and for now we’ll
just have to get to grips with what
the whipper snapper chipper snaffler
Mr McCaine says a chips is.
“A chip can always
be recognised by its inherent chip-like
shape. and it’s all over chippy-ness,”
he claims.
A chip is a piece of
potato that is forced into a chip
by the French. Then fried in deep
fats; you can tell when they are all
cooked and done by taking them out
of the deep fat with your hands and
eating them in your mouth, if they
taste cooked then that is what they
are.
A scientist in a dressing
gown, doing tests while waiting for
his breakfast.
*does it fuck
BED & BREAKFACTS
As coffee continues to sweep the country
as today's very favourite hot drink of the now, teaspoons
are being collected in by the government, melted down and
made into coffee spoons instead.
